i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
