I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
