she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
