i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
