Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
