ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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