Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
