I'm eating all of the evidence.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
