i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
