there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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