I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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