i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
