I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
