the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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