my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
