I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
