The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize