As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
