I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
