Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
