Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
