nut hugger
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
did you just send me my own nude
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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