im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How does it feel to date your dad?
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