im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
