It's like God shit irony all over that family
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
