I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
