It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
