:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize