Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
