Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
