Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
