Your mouth is God's brothel.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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