so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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