I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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