One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
