he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
