i don't like sucking hair
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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