Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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