OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
