if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
