so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
