No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
