You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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