what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
