i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I love having hate sex.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
