I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize