No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
