That's intense
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
