I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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