That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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