bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
