I love having hate sex.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
