No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
