Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
