Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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