Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am midnight drunk by noon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
