Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
