its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
